Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize