i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize