thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
