Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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