I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize