Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize