dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
