I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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