you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
