You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
