Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
