We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
