Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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