I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
