it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
