the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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