what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
