The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
