Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
