i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize