Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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