Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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