omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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