Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
