You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
