This girl is more easily done than said...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
