Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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