I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
