He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How's work?
Spinning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
