So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
