While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize