I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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