I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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