Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
