Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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