I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
