We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
