Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize