the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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