I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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