he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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