now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
