You smell like a Billy Joel song
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
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I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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