Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
