Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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