She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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