Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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