we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
