her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
