why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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