Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
