member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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