hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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