on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
