don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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