Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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